Monday, December 29, 2003
Strange Days
Well, I was sick this week for the first time in probably 6 years. This malady sadly prevented me from going out on Friday. Saturday, however, as though by sheer force of will, I managed to build up the strength to get out to the bars. The evening began on a fairly slow note, hanging out at the Mine Shaft with Jae, my friend JO from Hanover, and his friends. We were taking in the drink special and I was beginning to feel as though I might have better served myself by staying in. When what to Jae's wondering eyes should appear but Mojo, and I am not talking about some measure of Jae's *ahem* prowess, but rather Mojo of Joe Millionaire fame. Now I am not one to be star struck, and indeed I really wasn't. I played it off cool, even though I did watch every episode of Joe Millionaire. Yada yada yada. We leave the Mine Shaft and head to Joes to shoot some pool. We are about half way through our first game of doubles when who should show up but Mojo. She asks us if she can have next game. Now all the while I am playing it cool, but somewhere deep down inside, I am thinking that this is really cool. So the whole lot of us ends up playing pool for much of the rest of the evening. Eventually, however, it is time to go, and like on so many nights out, someone decides that it would be a good idea to go to bambas. It was a trip to bambas of legendary proportions in its violence, debauchery, and star power. Apparently, some dude was getting the crap beat out of him while I was away for a minute, and when the cops showed up the other dudes took off, and the beating victim was the only one arrested. Poor guy. The evening did not end on this gem, however, oh no, it had one more suprise up its sleeve...THE KUBIAC!! Perhaps best known for his role in ER, I recognized him instantly as the big dude from Parker Lewis Can't Lose (L'imperdible Parker Lewis in french), thankfully Ray remember the character's name so I could provide you with this link. That was about it. Crazy times indeed.
Partying with the "stars",
Z
Well, I was sick this week for the first time in probably 6 years. This malady sadly prevented me from going out on Friday. Saturday, however, as though by sheer force of will, I managed to build up the strength to get out to the bars. The evening began on a fairly slow note, hanging out at the Mine Shaft with Jae, my friend JO from Hanover, and his friends. We were taking in the drink special and I was beginning to feel as though I might have better served myself by staying in. When what to Jae's wondering eyes should appear but Mojo, and I am not talking about some measure of Jae's *ahem* prowess, but rather Mojo of Joe Millionaire fame. Now I am not one to be star struck, and indeed I really wasn't. I played it off cool, even though I did watch every episode of Joe Millionaire. Yada yada yada. We leave the Mine Shaft and head to Joes to shoot some pool. We are about half way through our first game of doubles when who should show up but Mojo. She asks us if she can have next game. Now all the while I am playing it cool, but somewhere deep down inside, I am thinking that this is really cool. So the whole lot of us ends up playing pool for much of the rest of the evening. Eventually, however, it is time to go, and like on so many nights out, someone decides that it would be a good idea to go to bambas. It was a trip to bambas of legendary proportions in its violence, debauchery, and star power. Apparently, some dude was getting the crap beat out of him while I was away for a minute, and when the cops showed up the other dudes took off, and the beating victim was the only one arrested. Poor guy. The evening did not end on this gem, however, oh no, it had one more suprise up its sleeve...THE KUBIAC!! Perhaps best known for his role in ER, I recognized him instantly as the big dude from Parker Lewis Can't Lose (L'imperdible Parker Lewis in french), thankfully Ray remember the character's name so I could provide you with this link. That was about it. Crazy times indeed.
Partying with the "stars",
Z
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Christmas Inches Closer
Well, it would seem that the closer that we get to the big day, the more strange people wander into best buy. I realize that not many people will be reading this, as winter/Christmas break is in full effect. Thus, I will keep it nice and short as a special thank you to those dedicated few who sit through dial-up to get here.
The first person was truly one of the strangest encounters that I have had at best buy. Only slightly less unnerving than the kung-fu villian who threatened to shoot me, this man may have tried to proposition me. Here is how it went:
Me: "Hi, how are you doing today?"
Weirdo: "Good, how are you?"
Me: "Not too bad. What brings you into best buy today?"
Weirdo: "Sex."
Me: "...I'm sorry?"
Weirdo: "Sex."
Me: "Uh, ok, you may want to check out special interest?"
After this strange tidbit of a conversation it was revealed that he was after sex AND a printer cartridge. I believe it was a Lexmark 50.
The other strange encounter I will also put in the form of dialogue. This lady was out of it or something. Whatever the cause, mind alteration or just natural stupidity, this lady was impossible to communicate with. This is her story:
Me: "How are you doing today ma'am?"
Lady: "I have this printer. I am looking for the thing that goes with it." *she waves a hand in the direction of the ink cartriges*
Me: "Ah, this printer uses the 56, 57, and 58 cartridges, do you know which ones you need?"
Lady: "No, I already have those. I need the thing, that makes it work."
Me: "...Uh...the cable?"
Lady: "will that make it work?"
Me: "Are you trying to plug it into your computer?"
Lady: "I need to make it work. Will this do that?" *annoyed*
Me: "yes."
I hope that she indeed needed the cable because those kinds of people are the ones that always come back. Oh well, if I see her again I will just ignor her. Thats what I should do, and what all people should do; hide from their problems. Alright, as promised, short and sweet. Until next time, devoted friends...
Keep on Truckin',
Z
Well, it would seem that the closer that we get to the big day, the more strange people wander into best buy. I realize that not many people will be reading this, as winter/Christmas break is in full effect. Thus, I will keep it nice and short as a special thank you to those dedicated few who sit through dial-up to get here.
The first person was truly one of the strangest encounters that I have had at best buy. Only slightly less unnerving than the kung-fu villian who threatened to shoot me, this man may have tried to proposition me. Here is how it went:
Me: "Hi, how are you doing today?"
Weirdo: "Good, how are you?"
Me: "Not too bad. What brings you into best buy today?"
Weirdo: "Sex."
Me: "...I'm sorry?"
Weirdo: "Sex."
Me: "Uh, ok, you may want to check out special interest?"
After this strange tidbit of a conversation it was revealed that he was after sex AND a printer cartridge. I believe it was a Lexmark 50.
The other strange encounter I will also put in the form of dialogue. This lady was out of it or something. Whatever the cause, mind alteration or just natural stupidity, this lady was impossible to communicate with. This is her story:
Me: "How are you doing today ma'am?"
Lady: "I have this printer. I am looking for the thing that goes with it." *she waves a hand in the direction of the ink cartriges*
Me: "Ah, this printer uses the 56, 57, and 58 cartridges, do you know which ones you need?"
Lady: "No, I already have those. I need the thing, that makes it work."
Me: "...Uh...the cable?"
Lady: "will that make it work?"
Me: "Are you trying to plug it into your computer?"
Lady: "I need to make it work. Will this do that?" *annoyed*
Me: "yes."
I hope that she indeed needed the cable because those kinds of people are the ones that always come back. Oh well, if I see her again I will just ignor her. Thats what I should do, and what all people should do; hide from their problems. Alright, as promised, short and sweet. Until next time, devoted friends...
Keep on Truckin',
Z
Thursday, December 18, 2003
The Giant, The Old Guy, and The Recluse
Well, despite my reawakening from the Best Buy propaganda machine, I still have to work there. Today was a banner day at work for strange clientel. As the title of this entry suggests the first of these strange shoppers was litterally a giant. He was seven feet tall easily. It was actually rather frightening to see him look at laptops, towering over the puny display like Yao Ming and mini-me. So of course everyone notices that this guy is tall and is talking about it from a safe distance. I was talking to this dude named Robbie (not *the* Robbie) as we were cruising the printer aisle. I made a tall joke just as we were rounding to corner, when to my horror I noticed that this giant, who would easily dwarf the largest russian killing machine, was standing about five feet away from me. I literally ran away. I assume he didn't notice since I am here to write this (giants are naturally violent, at least according to Harry Potter). The old guy was less frightening. I generally feel like I could beat up an old dude in a fight, and therefor I am less intimidated by them. This guy was pretty creepy though, he seriously had no cheek bones. Now I am not making fun of him for this. I am making fun of him for his complete unwillingness to spend any money. He was that typical old guy who is tight with his money and angry at products and services for costing money. Also, I sensed a deep and unabashed hatred for his "idiot son-in-law," who apparently destroyed his scanner when he unplugged it (although, he may have been right as this son-in-law also once accidentally made a flame thrower out of a bottle of compressed air while cleaning out a computer near a candle). I serious though, this guy had no cheek bones. The final customer I will discuss had the look of a mountain recluse: long tangly hair, long tangly beard, and a look about him that said "get off mah land." He was apparently upgrading from an old computer that he had purchased ten years before, which I surmised to be the last time he left his mountain home. Luckily he tired of talking to me, and correctly assumed that the guy from tech bay, who he refered to as "black shirt," knew more about computers than I did. That was about all that happened today. The guy with the lazy eye reached new lows of attempted humor in the bathroom today. That is a story I will tell in a comment as it actually crosses that afore thought uncrossable line of what I will and won't write about on here. Until next time, stay off mah land!
Normal when compared to some,
Z
Well, despite my reawakening from the Best Buy propaganda machine, I still have to work there. Today was a banner day at work for strange clientel. As the title of this entry suggests the first of these strange shoppers was litterally a giant. He was seven feet tall easily. It was actually rather frightening to see him look at laptops, towering over the puny display like Yao Ming and mini-me. So of course everyone notices that this guy is tall and is talking about it from a safe distance. I was talking to this dude named Robbie (not *the* Robbie) as we were cruising the printer aisle. I made a tall joke just as we were rounding to corner, when to my horror I noticed that this giant, who would easily dwarf the largest russian killing machine, was standing about five feet away from me. I literally ran away. I assume he didn't notice since I am here to write this (giants are naturally violent, at least according to Harry Potter). The old guy was less frightening. I generally feel like I could beat up an old dude in a fight, and therefor I am less intimidated by them. This guy was pretty creepy though, he seriously had no cheek bones. Now I am not making fun of him for this. I am making fun of him for his complete unwillingness to spend any money. He was that typical old guy who is tight with his money and angry at products and services for costing money. Also, I sensed a deep and unabashed hatred for his "idiot son-in-law," who apparently destroyed his scanner when he unplugged it (although, he may have been right as this son-in-law also once accidentally made a flame thrower out of a bottle of compressed air while cleaning out a computer near a candle). I serious though, this guy had no cheek bones. The final customer I will discuss had the look of a mountain recluse: long tangly hair, long tangly beard, and a look about him that said "get off mah land." He was apparently upgrading from an old computer that he had purchased ten years before, which I surmised to be the last time he left his mountain home. Luckily he tired of talking to me, and correctly assumed that the guy from tech bay, who he refered to as "black shirt," knew more about computers than I did. That was about all that happened today. The guy with the lazy eye reached new lows of attempted humor in the bathroom today. That is a story I will tell in a comment as it actually crosses that afore thought uncrossable line of what I will and won't write about on here. Until next time, stay off mah land!
Normal when compared to some,
Z
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
Like something from a dream
Well, last night was an evening of excess. My good friend Ray and I, in anticipation of the release of The Return of the King, decided to watch both The Fellowship of the Ring, and The Two Towers in their entirety. This is a daunting feat in and of itself, but factor in that the versions that we watched were the extended editions, and you have a marathon of movies. This was not the only excess of the evening, not by a long shot. I also nearly ate an entire large pizza hut pizza singlehandedly. Actually, I used both hands, but I did it by myself. The pain was great from that feat, but it was nothing compared to the feeling created by drinking seven Mountain Dews!!! SEVEN MOUNTAIN DEWS!!! That is 1190 calories! It was a strange combination of feelings that I would describe as a mix between exteme fatigue and a sense that your body wants to try and run through a brick wall. I thought I learned my lesson in middleschool.
Anyhow, I woke up this morning in a state of strange clarity. I think that the extreme confusion that my body had faced at hands of Mountain Dew (and who knows about the mushrooms that were on that pizza), caused me to transcend my normal morning funk and exist on a different plane of consciousness. In my new enlightened form I went to best buy to work (this was at 8am), during the morning meeting I realized that I had been buying into their bullshit. I was starting to believe the hype. Why should I care if people leave with eight-hundred sheets of photo paper. What do I recieve for attaching high margin items? NOTHING. So, hear me Best Buy, as I decry thee: F. U. I don't need you. You pay me peanuts to work my ass off for you. No benefits. $7.50 p/hr. The constant embarassment of having to admit that I sell computers for an evil corporation. Your days on my back are drawing rapidly to a close.
The haze has lifted,
Z
*7 leg slaps 7 claps*
*3 leg slaps 3 claps*
*1 leg slap 1 clap* "fuck"
*7 leg slaps 7 claps*
*3 leg slaps 3 claps*
*1 leg slap 1 clap* "you"
*7 leg slaps 7 claps*
*3 leg slaps 3 claps*
*1 leg slap 1 clap* "fuck you"
*1 leg slap 1 clap* "fuck you"
*1 leg slap 1 clap* "fuck you"
Well, last night was an evening of excess. My good friend Ray and I, in anticipation of the release of The Return of the King, decided to watch both The Fellowship of the Ring, and The Two Towers in their entirety. This is a daunting feat in and of itself, but factor in that the versions that we watched were the extended editions, and you have a marathon of movies. This was not the only excess of the evening, not by a long shot. I also nearly ate an entire large pizza hut pizza singlehandedly. Actually, I used both hands, but I did it by myself. The pain was great from that feat, but it was nothing compared to the feeling created by drinking seven Mountain Dews!!! SEVEN MOUNTAIN DEWS!!! That is 1190 calories! It was a strange combination of feelings that I would describe as a mix between exteme fatigue and a sense that your body wants to try and run through a brick wall. I thought I learned my lesson in middleschool.
Anyhow, I woke up this morning in a state of strange clarity. I think that the extreme confusion that my body had faced at hands of Mountain Dew (and who knows about the mushrooms that were on that pizza), caused me to transcend my normal morning funk and exist on a different plane of consciousness. In my new enlightened form I went to best buy to work (this was at 8am), during the morning meeting I realized that I had been buying into their bullshit. I was starting to believe the hype. Why should I care if people leave with eight-hundred sheets of photo paper. What do I recieve for attaching high margin items? NOTHING. So, hear me Best Buy, as I decry thee: F. U. I don't need you. You pay me peanuts to work my ass off for you. No benefits. $7.50 p/hr. The constant embarassment of having to admit that I sell computers for an evil corporation. Your days on my back are drawing rapidly to a close.
The haze has lifted,
Z
*7 leg slaps 7 claps*
*3 leg slaps 3 claps*
*1 leg slap 1 clap* "fuck"
*7 leg slaps 7 claps*
*3 leg slaps 3 claps*
*1 leg slap 1 clap* "you"
*7 leg slaps 7 claps*
*3 leg slaps 3 claps*
*1 leg slap 1 clap* "fuck you"
*1 leg slap 1 clap* "fuck you"
*1 leg slap 1 clap* "fuck you"
Friday, December 12, 2003
The Best Dinner EVER
Well, I finally got to eat at one of those fancy downtown steakhouses. The name of the joint was Mortons, and I salivate at the thought of it. Wednesday was my moms birthday, I was going to take her out to dinner, but my Aunt Sherry beat me to the punch, and I must say, thank God. Granted Bravo would have been good, but it wouldn't have been the best dinner EVER. The steak literally melted away into pure flavor in my mouth. I got the 24 ounce porterhouse, they had a 48 ouncer too, but I didn't get it (good thing too, because I would have eaten it all and then died of explosion. I think it must have been laced with crack). Factor in my first taste of raw oysters (yum!), a delicious salad, some lobster bisque (which reminded me of the giant crustacian that was brought to the table, STILL ALIVE and foaming at the mouth...gills...whatever, big lobster), and two double shots of makers mark and you've got the best dinner EVER! Thank you mother for being born!
Unrelatedly, it was a strange day today at Best Buy. I saw three people that I knew, a girl I smoked with at Indy Ambassadors (cigarettes), Detective John Arvin, and Mr. Hess the great party benefactor. People I have run into in the past at best buy: Bobby Craft, Nick and Yoosuk, the lady that taught me to flick rubberbands when I was 6, the ninjas perhaps formerly known as or still known as the Oaklandon ninjas, Mike Lackey's parents, Jake, Jae, Ruby Pubee, and of course giant russian killing machines.
FRIENDS IN LOW PLAY SEZ!
Z
Well, I finally got to eat at one of those fancy downtown steakhouses. The name of the joint was Mortons, and I salivate at the thought of it. Wednesday was my moms birthday, I was going to take her out to dinner, but my Aunt Sherry beat me to the punch, and I must say, thank God. Granted Bravo would have been good, but it wouldn't have been the best dinner EVER. The steak literally melted away into pure flavor in my mouth. I got the 24 ounce porterhouse, they had a 48 ouncer too, but I didn't get it (good thing too, because I would have eaten it all and then died of explosion. I think it must have been laced with crack). Factor in my first taste of raw oysters (yum!), a delicious salad, some lobster bisque (which reminded me of the giant crustacian that was brought to the table, STILL ALIVE and foaming at the mouth...gills...whatever, big lobster), and two double shots of makers mark and you've got the best dinner EVER! Thank you mother for being born!
Unrelatedly, it was a strange day today at Best Buy. I saw three people that I knew, a girl I smoked with at Indy Ambassadors (cigarettes), Detective John Arvin, and Mr. Hess the great party benefactor. People I have run into in the past at best buy: Bobby Craft, Nick and Yoosuk, the lady that taught me to flick rubberbands when I was 6, the ninjas perhaps formerly known as or still known as the Oaklandon ninjas, Mike Lackey's parents, Jake, Jae, Ruby Pubee, and of course giant russian killing machines.
FRIENDS IN LOW PLAY SEZ!
Z
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
Double CPU Hates You!
Well, the work week continues. People come into Best Buy, and leave with computers. Sunrise, sunset, blah blah blah. On an interesting note today, I ran into someone I went to school with (hanover) today. I am not sure what his real name is, but everyone used to call him Ruby, Ruby Pubee. He wanted to purchase the really cheap emachines peice of crapola. I sent him to Carmel in a gross display of power. Actually, we were out of them and they had them in Carmel. What the hell am I talking about? Ruby Pubee? This has to be a new low for searching for topics. I might as well write an entry about the little ballerina teddy bear lanyard they make us wear. I give it up to you readers, if you have made it this far into this entry you are brave souls willing to listen to me ramble about some dude from my college whose nickname had to do with pubes. Gross. Is there anything I won't write about? I guess not. I mean the only thing that could have saved this bastard son of a blog entry would have been if some Russian killing machines had appeared and power bombed this dude through the answer center. Now that would have been something to write about. This is even worse than my mexican restaurant entry.
Thanks for your persistence,
Z
Well, the work week continues. People come into Best Buy, and leave with computers. Sunrise, sunset, blah blah blah. On an interesting note today, I ran into someone I went to school with (hanover) today. I am not sure what his real name is, but everyone used to call him Ruby, Ruby Pubee. He wanted to purchase the really cheap emachines peice of crapola. I sent him to Carmel in a gross display of power. Actually, we were out of them and they had them in Carmel. What the hell am I talking about? Ruby Pubee? This has to be a new low for searching for topics. I might as well write an entry about the little ballerina teddy bear lanyard they make us wear. I give it up to you readers, if you have made it this far into this entry you are brave souls willing to listen to me ramble about some dude from my college whose nickname had to do with pubes. Gross. Is there anything I won't write about? I guess not. I mean the only thing that could have saved this bastard son of a blog entry would have been if some Russian killing machines had appeared and power bombed this dude through the answer center. Now that would have been something to write about. This is even worse than my mexican restaurant entry.
Thanks for your persistence,
Z
Friday, December 05, 2003
Tis' the Season
Well, it has been a fairly eventful week. With work, Christmas shopping who would think that I would have time to get involved with other things. That's right, I joined a volunteer organization. It is called Indy Ambassadors, they are basically a temp service for non-profit organizations. Wow, who could have seen that one coming, I mean I don't like to work for money, now I will also be working for free. Oh well, I guess I just wanted to do something worthwhile, not that unloading computer packages on people isn't worthwhile, but its certainly not giving anything back. So here is how it went. I had found this organization over the summer but really didn't want to join until I had a job and knew what kind of time I could commit to it. Then of course I had two jobs. Then Wednesday on my way back from B-town I remembered that there was a meeting on the first weds of each month. I figured what the hell, what else do I have to do. So I find out that it is at the Rathskeller downtown, and get dressed and head down. I found the Rathskeller easily enough but could not for the life of me find the meeting. It ended up with me standing outside in a tent next to a giant portable fireplace. Luckily a lady came out to smoke who was on the staff and finally gave me good instructions on where to go. Blah blah blah, signing up, etc. So I go into the Cabaret Theatre where the meeting is being held and sit at a table by myself. Soon after two women sit at the table next to me talking about how they were new members, so I spoke up and they invited me to join them. Just my luck, one of them happens to be from New York City, so of course she won't shut up about New York City. Eh. The entertainment was...well...different. There was a fifth grade choir that sang, it was funny in a kids singing kind of way. This was followed by a fifth grade concert band, which was funny in an elephant being electricuted kind of way (ironically that is also what it sounded like, but hey, ya gotta start somewhere). Not quite so funny was the old people swing dancing that followed...no, it was mostly creepy. Skip ahead, the Rathskeller is a cool German style bar, complete with tall, bleach blonde master-race waitresses. That and not everyone in this organization is old.
In unrelated news, I found out last night that Jake Lloyd has abandoned his acting career after being caught in the middle of his divorcing parents. Poor kid, but I don't think I am alone when I say, "Yipee!" The things you find out talking to strangers at bars.
Now this is Blog Racing,
Z
Well, it has been a fairly eventful week. With work, Christmas shopping who would think that I would have time to get involved with other things. That's right, I joined a volunteer organization. It is called Indy Ambassadors, they are basically a temp service for non-profit organizations. Wow, who could have seen that one coming, I mean I don't like to work for money, now I will also be working for free. Oh well, I guess I just wanted to do something worthwhile, not that unloading computer packages on people isn't worthwhile, but its certainly not giving anything back. So here is how it went. I had found this organization over the summer but really didn't want to join until I had a job and knew what kind of time I could commit to it. Then of course I had two jobs. Then Wednesday on my way back from B-town I remembered that there was a meeting on the first weds of each month. I figured what the hell, what else do I have to do. So I find out that it is at the Rathskeller downtown, and get dressed and head down. I found the Rathskeller easily enough but could not for the life of me find the meeting. It ended up with me standing outside in a tent next to a giant portable fireplace. Luckily a lady came out to smoke who was on the staff and finally gave me good instructions on where to go. Blah blah blah, signing up, etc. So I go into the Cabaret Theatre where the meeting is being held and sit at a table by myself. Soon after two women sit at the table next to me talking about how they were new members, so I spoke up and they invited me to join them. Just my luck, one of them happens to be from New York City, so of course she won't shut up about New York City. Eh. The entertainment was...well...different. There was a fifth grade choir that sang, it was funny in a kids singing kind of way. This was followed by a fifth grade concert band, which was funny in an elephant being electricuted kind of way (ironically that is also what it sounded like, but hey, ya gotta start somewhere). Not quite so funny was the old people swing dancing that followed...no, it was mostly creepy. Skip ahead, the Rathskeller is a cool German style bar, complete with tall, bleach blonde master-race waitresses. That and not everyone in this organization is old.
In unrelated news, I found out last night that Jake Lloyd has abandoned his acting career after being caught in the middle of his divorcing parents. Poor kid, but I don't think I am alone when I say, "Yipee!" The things you find out talking to strangers at bars.
Now this is Blog Racing,
Z
